One Way Ticket to Madness
by Cleome Thrift
Summary: DMHG Her life revolved around a seemingly amiable cycle of friends and work...That is, until that fateful day when a certain platinum blond Adonis ruined her perfectly ordered life.
1. Chapter 1

**One way ticket to Madness **

**Chapter 1**

Her life was simple albeit busy.

Her life was monotonous in a good way.

Her life revolved around a seemingly amiable cycle of friends and work…..

Until the fateful day that a certain platinum blond Adonis ruined her perfectly ordered life.

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The second Hermione walked into the lab, she knew she was in trouble. Maybe it was the way the air crackled with '_you've got the worst day of your life ahead of you'_ or the invisible sign that seemed to be hung in front of her face that read '_you've screwed up the most important lab of the season_'. Actually, it was probably the way Healer Fotunia Gelnaw was standing in front of her station akimbo with a vein the size of Africa popping out of her head and a face that was scarier than Frankenstein's.

"Unacceptable" Fotunia said snidely as she reviewed Hermione's work. Hermione glared silently as Fotunia continued to meticulously examine her lab work. Tsking at the most negligible of errors that Hermione forced herself not to role her eyes at this woman's obvious pettiness.

Unfortunately during her third month of her five year residency as a healer, Hermione had unintentionally caused the man that Fotunia was set on to show interest in her. It resulted in Fotunia quickly morphing from a countenance of indifference to one of utter abhorrence whenever she was in the same room as her.

More unfortunately was that Fotunia was one of three doctors from under which she was serving her residency. Hermione often cursed her bad luck. It wasn't even as if she had shown the slightest bit of to that pushover.

"Do numbers from thirty to fifty five over. It is bad form to have inconsistent data." Fotunia stated before turning to leave. Hermione gripped her wand tighter hoping she could just hex her into the next week but just nodded in acquiescence. She had learned the hard way that to show her temper to Fotunia would just result in extra hours and busywork.

Having seen the exchange Roxie, came over from her lab bench.

"She's a bitch, don't worry about it." Roxie said placing her forearms on the table and leaning over to have a look. They seemed fine.

"Watch your language if she heard you-"

"She won't. I think the stuff that's stuck up her ass is in her ears as well." Roxie snickered to herself as Hermione's lips twitched. Roxie was her partner in training and was entirely not what Hermione expected of someone who had graduated from Beauxbatons Academy.

Roxie was loud, forthcoming and rather uncooridinated when it came to everyday occurances. She was half asian and irish possessing the unique dark brown coloring reserved for those with mixed asian and caucasian bloodlines. They had become great friends as Roxie's outgoing nature mixed well with Hermione's raighteuos one.

"You know if you expanded your vocabulary you could insult people and sound classy at the same time." Hermione commented as she started to pour out the remaining liquid from her emperical mixture.

"No, I'd just sound like a stick was stuck up _my_ ass," At Hermiones reproving gaze she chuckled, "kidding, kidding…but don't you feel that its easier to make your point with simpler more well know vocab like bitch an-"

"No, I'd like to think I could convey my self better without using vulgar language."

"Awww don't be so uptight. You know that if you weren't so proper about everything you'd totally agree with me. And don't even think of redoing these. They're perfect and that…." Upon catching Hermione's wry glance she coughed, "female dog won't be able to tell the difference. What? Hey, I like dogs!"

Hermione raised an eyebrow but didn't comment. Stripping off her gloves she made a disgusted noise. She hated the greasy feeling of sweat and whatever powder was inside them.

"I need to get out more. All these extra hours are driving me insane and I swear Fotunia is PMSing." Hermione said as she undid her lab coat and stretched her arms.

"I agree entirely. Lets go clubbing! I haven't gone in two weeks-" Roxie was cut off mid sentence by a dour glance as they both hurried to grab purses and bags to go home.

"I don't do clubbing remember? That's for people who want to get mauled." Hermione muttered.

"Hey that was ONE time and that club is nothing like the club I'm thinking about tonight. This one is high class. My cousin got us onto the guest list. I just love him." Roxie finished looking expectantly at Hermione. She sighed as she stared into Roxie's hopeful expression.

"How high class?"

"Very."

"Yeah….lets expand on that" Hermione coxed her although preparing to turn her down. Roxie was sure of it.

"Very exclusive. It's near your place so you should know-Noir" Roxie replied slyly. Hermione glanced incredulously at her. It was high class, Hermione had to giver her that. It was so exclusive that Hermione was wondering how Roxie's class B celebrity of a cousin had gotten two separate slots for them.

"How did you ever get him to agree?" Hermione asked suspiciously. She was sure that Roxie would have had to black mail him somehow.

"That embarrassingly cute picture from when he was six might just happen to be leaked to the press, nothing big." Roxie grinned devilishly. The expression fit her perfectly as her features were shaped somewhat like a foxes: Slim and Sharp. Hermione snorted a very unladylike sound. Her heels clicked smartly on the ground as they made their way through the lobby.

"Or….male strippers at his next birthday party." Roxie added almost making it sound like an afterthought.

"What!?" Hermione's head jerked to stare at Roxie open mouthed. Roxie just put an air of mock innocence. Hermione new she was anything but a paragon of virtue however. Roxie shrugged and then ruined her veneer of innocence with a smirk.

"Hey, I thought it would spice things up a bit, add some flare to the party." She shrugged nonchalantly.

"He'd get more riled than the other time." Hermione and Roxie had now made it to the parking lot and Hermione dug into her purse for the keys. Scrambling through a jungle of items, she fished till the damn keys came out.

"Oh I know…he'd get so hot and bothered-" Hermione cut Roxie off as she slid into the drivers seat.

"No, that's not what I meant Roxie. Just that he'd hate you and ignore you for like a month. And then you'd just bother me because he wasn't paying attention to you."

"Yeah, whatever. Anyway, you are coming with me tonight, no excuses." Roxie said confidently while giving the finger to someone that had honked at them. Hermione quickly swatted at her hand.

"Stop that, people will think I'm crazy. And no I have work that Forutnia gave me to do. Unlike some people I care for what I do."

"Hey that isn't fair, just because I'm not OCD about my work doesn't mean I don't care. And yes your ARE coming or I think maybe…." Roxie drifted off trying to come up with a suitable threat.

"Or nothing, there is nothing you can do that could possibly make me want to waste a perfectly good Friday evening being groped by sketchy men."

"Or male strippers…" Roxie tapped her chin as if in deep concentration. Hermione glared daggers at her friend before once again focusing on the road.

"Maybe at _your_ birthday party with let's say Harry, Ron and the rest of the Weasley family….I could even hire the expensive kind and pick a costume." Roxie's eyes were lighting up now in real possibility.

"You'd never dare." Hermione said firmly as she if trying to convince herself. However it was useless trying to fool herself since Roxie had carried out a similar threat before.

"Try me." Roxie suggested while calling someone on her cell. Hermione fell silent while she listened.

"Hey, yeah…"

"You too….em hmm"

"….about that, could you bring it up today I have a frien-" Roxie laughed at something. Hermione was sure they were talking about her now.

"….no the dark blue or black halter"

" Hmm, that's what I thought too but she'll be able to pull it off."

"….yeah we're going clubbing"

"…..really?"

"...Noir" Hermione could discern a gasp of shock from the other end and an exclamation of pure shock and excitement.

"…haha yeah she's somewhat conservative with her clothes so this number will look bloody fabulous on her." Hermione crushed the urge to grab her phone and throw it out the window.

"….thanks, no problem"

"….bye." Roxie flipped the phone shut and placed it back into her purse before turning the radio onto some random channel.

"Take A LEFT!" Roxie yelled while reaching for the stearing wheel. Hermione turned in a panic causing the tires to squeek and both of them to be thrown to the right. Hermione pinned Roxie with a well diserved glare.

"What was that for, you could have had us killed."

"Well we're alive alright? Just calm down." Hermione was still to angry to understand that Roxie had strategically stopped them in front of her rather opulent apartment complex.

"You're so irresponsible Rox," Hermione commented as she looked around and was about to turn into traffic once again.

"You're not going home honey. You're coming to my place so I can work my magic and change you from the ugly duckling to a magnificent goose…geese? Well whatever you call it." Before Hermione could protest she put the vehicle to park and snatched the keys out of the ignition. Grinning widely at a deeply frowning Hermione she dangled the keys. Hermione made a quick swipe for them but Roxie drew away even quicker.

"You aren't getting these."

"I'm not going clubbing." Hermione's obstinate nature struck out again.

"Yes you are and there is no bloody way you're getting out of it." Roxie dangled the keys once again. "It's not like you can go anywhere without these anyway."

"Shut up. You know I hate loud places with obnoxious people."

"But I need someone to go with me. And you need to get laid so this obviously is the answer to our problems." Hermione made a face at her.

"I don't need to get laid alright. I just need some quite time to read."

"Like last Friday?" Roxie asked

"Yeah…"

"And the Friday before that?"

"Yes." By now Hermione was gritting her teeth in annoyance.

"And….maybe the Friday before that?" Roxie was pushing her patience.

"Yes, now give me the keys."

"Not..." Roxie swung the keys before her eyes, "If you are seriously considering having male strippers at your birthday, which might I remind you is in less than three weeks from now." Hermione hissed in annoyance before leaning back in her seat and closing her eyes. Letting out a breath she turned back to an expectant looking Roxie.

"Fine but you can't….under any circumstances dress me up as a whore or anything that resembles one. Have I made myself clear?" Hermione said emphasizing the last sentence by narrowing her eyes. Roxie just laughed and stepped out of the car.

"No need to worry, the puritanical face will balance out anything sluttish perfectly." Roxie chuckled to herself while Hermione stood off to the side with a sour expression on her 'puritanical face'.

"You know that doesn't actually encourage me to follow you in this peculiar endeavor of yours right? I don't even know why I'm bloody bothering." It wasn't often that Hermione cursed but when she did it either spoke of volumes of stress or a great deal of hatred. Currently Hermione was just too tired to deal with all of this.

Following Roxie up into her lavish apartment Hermione trudged through the door way, apprehensively eyeing the three dresses that were already lying on Roxie's leather sofa.

"Oh she already sent them over! Awesome, come here Hermione try this on I think it'll fit." Her feet hurt and she was feeling rather lethargic. With a sigh she stood up and took the dark blue dress, nearly dropping it before stripping and putting it on. Roxie had turned her back to give her a shred of privacy but truthfully Hermione didn't care, it wasn't as if she had something that Roxie didn't.

Hermione grumbled slightly as she awkwardly pulled the dress over her head, having trouble understanding where her arms and everything else went. Its not as if it's my fault, I don't wear dresses often Hermione thought.

"Hey Rox, I'm stuck…." Roxie made an incredulous noise in her throat before turning around to a Hermione who was indeed stuck putting on a halter dress.

"Hermione this is a halter…how can you possibly be stuck? Are you stupid or something….no that can't be it. Must be the coordination…"

"Rox if you don't com help me now, I'm shredding this thing." Hermione warned.

"Fine, here." Roxie pulled the halter out from the awkward position on the side over Hermione's head before straitening out the rest of it.

"Now all we have to do is tame this bush you call hair, put on some make up and we're done."

An hour and a half later Hermione was fully dressed in a black halter that came to mid thigh. Her face covered lightly with make up, and her hair tamed with a charm into as Roxie put it 'a little less like a conflagration of crazy trees'.

"If you put a little effort into your appearance you could move from…." Hermione gave her a flat stare, "what you are now to a beautiful princess fit for a brothel." Hermione smacked her for that one.

"That's exactly what I aim not to do…look like a just stepped out from being a prostitute. And why is this so short Roxie." Hermione complained while tugging at the hem nervously. It came to mid thigh not short enough by Roxie's standards.

"Stop whining you look fine…" At Hermione's look she elaborated

"NOT like a whore alright?"

"Do I have to go? Its not like I can pick up anyone anyway, they're all celebrities I'll look like a cow next to all of them." Hermione tried one last time. Roxie looked her over again. Truthfully, Hermione would probably be prettier than half the girls there. Even if it wasn't her scene it was Roxie's job to get Hermione out of her comfort box every few weeks to live a little.

"No you're going. Even if you can't hook up, we'll meet celebrities. You know those people on magazines and stuff. It'll be amazing I promise you. Maybe we'll even get to see some of those Quidditch players!" Stars were forming in her eyes as she clapped her hands in childish excitement. Roxie had played quidditch at the Academy and although she didn't play anymore, was obsessed about the England team. She could name all the players, their positions, numbers, and what string they were. To Hermione this obsession was coming a little out of hand. Especially since it was Hermione that she came to gushing about how hott so and so was, or how handsome some chaser was. She was getting rather sick about it.

Roxie hurriedly pushed Hermione out of her apartment and into the elevator. Once in, she pressed the button for the main floor lobby. Hermione could never get over how rich Roxie's apartment was. Her parents owned a wizarding sports store that had become popular relatively quickly. Mainly concerned with Quidditch it attracted male and female players not only with its massive stock of equipment but also with posters, articles, and statistics of their favorite players. This unfortunately led to Roxie's room being plastered with quidditch posters of all kinds.

Her cousin was already waiting expectantly for them outside, a tall lean actor of twenty five. No one could tell they were cousins as Leon was of her Irish side his hair dark brown, showing off almost a black sheen and his hazel eyes flashing a blue green sparkle.

He gave her a welcoming smile and murmured a hello before acutely ignoring Roxie. Roxie leaned over to her and whispered quietly.

"He'll get over it…he always does."

"Shows the number of times you've taken advantage of him."

"Yeah, he was real good." Roxie flashed a sultry smile and wiggled her eyebrows lasciviously.

"That's not what I bloody meant, get your mind out of the gutter and stop twisting the meaning to everything I'm saying." Hermione elbowed her a little.

"Ow…hey, you walked right into that one," Roxie exclaimed unabashedly. They both got into her cousin's car. Hermione made small talk with Leon from the back seat as he was pointedly ignoring Roxie.

"How is the shooting going?" Hermione asked leaning forward and pulling at her skirt once more. The damned thing was just too short. She saw Leon make a face in the rear view mirror and laughed.

"Not well?"

"I told you about Hannabelle Skritly right?" Hermione nodded urging him to go on.

"She's a total nut case that one. That bloody bint followed me everywhere, even into the mens room. She's convinced that we're soul mates." Leon made an aggravated sound as he swerved to the right. Roxie snorted and laughed at his expense. Leon shot Roxie a flat look and Roxie flashed a million dollar smile right back. He just sighed before he went on.

"Her dad is on of the co-producers so I can't do anything about it. Besides, this movie seems to be doing well. It may boost up my standings so I can't go and screw it up just because of some crazy, spoiled, bitchy brat." Leon ranted.

"Lonnie?" Roxie smirked

"…."

"Lonnie?" This time a little louder.

"…."

"Lonnie" This time it was a whine.

"What!?" Leon asked exasperatedly slipping her an obscure glance through narrowed eyes.

"Talking to me now?" Leon eyes widened at his mistake before shrugging.

"Whatever." Roxie grinned indulgently

"Leon dear, you have a woman that's just falling at your feet. Why don't you just take advantage and live a little huh? You know some casual hook up here and there. I bet she's good." Roxie said slyly. Leon gave her a sour look.

"She'll probably stick like super glue after that. I'd rather not thanks."

"You can never stay mad at me Lonnie, I just love you." She reached over to ruffle his dark locks affectionately. He pulled away, or as far as he could without loosing his concentration, and tried to straiten his hair with one hand while cursing under his breath. Roxie grinned as she did it again her laugh tinkling throughout the car. Hermione watched the byplay between the two with interest as she had a limited family.

"Stop that…you know I hate it. Stop being obnoxious Rox." Leon muttered finally trying none to successfully to straiten his hair that was now ruffled beyond repair.

"You boys say that you don't care about your appearance and complain when we do our hair but…"

"We don't its just now I looked like I just rolled out of bed damn it."

"Sure…you know I think you're vain." Roxie was goading him.

"I am not! I just want to appear presentable." Leon asserted as he pulled into the front, steeping out and handing the keys to security. Hermione stepped out from the back and joined Roxie in front of the club. Unused to being photographed she shied away as Leon seemed to be unbothered by it. Roxie even seemed to be enjoying the situation. She would, Hermione thought as they walked up the red carpet and through the gaudy entrance.

Little did she know that, as she walked through the entrance and flashed the ticket with her name on it, this was her one way ticket to madness. A dynamic change was about to happen to her for better or for worse. The limelight that Hermione had always avoided would soon be caste on her with florescent strength.

Following Roxie and Leon in, Hermione just missed the blond man that stepped out of his clearly expensive limo and riled up the reporters unlike any other man could. The first string seeker for the English team was about to begin his nightly expeditions.

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Adriel Case tapped her foot impatiently as she stared at the young man across from her. She had been his PR for the past four years and had successively kept scandals from marring his reputation and family. Draco had come to her years before and asked for her to protect his mom from the ravenous press as his father had died in the war a year before. As one of the youngest and most successful seeker on a professional team and the heir to a massive fortune the press started to hound him right out of school. His stunning looks didn't help him a bit either.

It had become progressively worse through the year. Finally when reporters had overrun his family and upset his mother it was the last straw. He hired Adriel a beginning but cunning PR specifically telling her to keep the Malfoy name respected and his family untouched.

"Remember, you can fool around as much as you want inside the club but do not leave with anyone alright?" Adriel was still tapping her foot with her arms crossed across her chest in a no-nonsense manner.

"You've told me this how many times?" Malfoy asked slowly and deliberately.

"it doesn't hurt to be careful and your accident yesterday may prompt some rash actions tonight."

"I'm never rash." Malfoy bit out as he stood up. Adriel just shrugged as if to humor him.

"I could fire you, you know." Malfoy threatened. Adriel smirked; Malfoy wouldn't dare even though he had mentioned it on numerous occasions. She was just to bloody good at her job. Adriel just had a knack fro drama.

"Whatever, just remember what I said under all circumstances. Now run along to your party. Can't have Draco being grumpy now can we." She had the urge to pinch his cheeks. Chuckling she opened the door and he stalked through it without looking back. 

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**A/n (IMPORTANT)**

**This came from a sudden inspiration from reading DMHG fics. I wanted to try my hand at it. I think their so cute. Anyways I'm looking at the turn out of this chapter to see if I want to continue. Ultimately Hermione will become Malfoy's fake girlfriend as Adriel forces them for the sake of both of their well beings. As they both can't stand each other … you get the picture chaos I luv it (squeals). **

**Next important thing. If I decide to continue I need a BETA and a person to pick out awkwardness. I have horrible grammar and I don't actually plan out my stories before I post. It's a chapter by chapter thing and I know that's not very professional but whatever. This person also needs to be well versed in HP stories and their lifestyle cuz I haven't read a HP book in three four years….I know blasphemy. But truly I don't know a lot of characters, their appearances, place names, wizarding world habits ect….**

**If there is any suggestion to plot feel free to speak out. I'm very open to suggestions as long as they don't veer to far off from my roughly sketched storyline. If these characters seem OC tell me because they might. I needed a break from head girl/head boy and marriage fic storyline so I came out with this. ) **

**Also what is the English Quidditch teams name? or is their one. This is a need to know. **

**Down………. **

**Down…… **

**Down…. **

**Winks, you know you want to press the magic button. Toodles - **


	2. Chapter 2

**One Way Ticket Two Madness**

**Chapter 2**

Let's start by saying that Hermione still ferociously held her hatred for any type of club.

The music was pumping in the background, its steady rhythms slowly driving her to the brink of insanity. She had accidentally lost sight of Leon and Roxie. Then some blond bitch of an actor had walked right into her and yelled at _her_.

She was on the verge of pulling her hair out. Not a very attractive sight considering she was amongst many celebrities. Slipping onto a bar bench she hailed a bartender.

"Something to drink," It was polite enough if he weren't staring down her shirt. Hermione was not in the mood to deal with that kind of person today. She made her tone brisk and dismissive hoping he'd get the point.

"Martini," He nodded before leaving. Hermione had an intimation that before the night was over she was going to move from light alcohol to straight vodka.

Resting her chin on her hand lazily she tilted her head to the side to observe the scene.

The club was dark, the multicolored lights cast a luminous glow the rendered the atmosphere classy yet casual. The bar was already littered with those select few who opted to drink rather than dance.

Once her martini arrived she quickly picked it up, downing half of it smoothly. The faster she could get rid of the insistent pounding in her head the better.

The next half an hour was spent watching people dance or rather grind while drinking progressively stronger alcohol.

Suddenly a person blocked her view with his fat blond head, his large body occupying the stool next to hers.

"Move," she demanded. A slight buzz was already streaming through her head. The man next to her rudely ignored her. A sound of utter annoyance escaped her lips as she reached over and gave him a shove. That seemed to rouse him.

"I said _move_. You're blocking my view." Finally, he turned fixing his snowy grey eyes on her with intensity. After a few minutes of slight contemplation he turned back as if she wasn't worth his time. That self centered prat! She'd show him.

He was in the middle of taking a sip of what looked like a Jack Daniels when she shoved him harder than the first time. It caused him to cough and spill the drink onto a neatly pressed midnight blue shirt that was definitely tailored to fit his body perfectly.

"What is wrong with you?" He asked angrily. His large hands aggressively dabbed at his shirt. Turning he glared at her. His green eyes showing intensity as his gaze pierced her.

"Wait….hermione?" He asked. His face contorted in confusion. It rattled him. Her appearance in the nclub sent him off balance after not seeing her for so long. It only took a short while for the deep rooted animosity from school to resurface.

"What's your problem?"

"I…well….you weren't moving!"

"And you thought it would be a brilliant idea to shove me? Like I didn't feel you the first time?" Put like that it sounded stupid. Hermione flushed. Her small hands tightening on her glass deciding she still _really_ didn't like this man.

"I…" before she could finish he cut in.

"Who do you think you are? The Queen of England?"

"No!" She shouted. Malfoy really made her angry. Taking her hand off her glass she fisted them, getting ready to give him a piece of her mind.

"What is your problem then?" If it hadn't been so dark in there Hermione would bet her favorite shoes that he was red as a beet.

"You weren't moving!" Hermione shouted once again. This time she was loud enough for a few people at the bar to start looking on in interest. Her IQ, unfortunately, dropped twenty points for every cup downed.

The Mafloy raised an incredulous eyebrow and gave her a look that even she, in an inebriated state, could decode as contempt. Apparently, the statement sounded as stupid to him as it did to her.

"You don't own this bar…so why do I have to move at you're whim. I was enjoying the view to till you thought it in your best interests to shove me." Hermione looked like she was ready gouge his eye out. Her face was glowing red, brown hair wild, tiny hands fisted.

"I know I don't own this bar! But any person in their right mind would just move like a gentleman. You were blocking my view like some….ughh!" her eloquence had long disappeared, leaving her to express her frustration through her hands.

His whole countenance had grown domineering and hostile.

"I was here first!" Although immature, it was the best Hermione could come up with.

The Draco gave her a flat stare before turning back, effectively ignoring her. His back was tense under his crisp blue shirt. His face like he'd eaten something nasty.

Hermione was angry, frustrated and completely irked by his behavior. The only thing she could think to do was to take another sip. The buzz wasn't strong enough.

"Hey, how are you Malfoy?" the bartender that Hermione was set on hating had returned. A smile lit up his seemingly perpetually happy face.

"I'm good," The man next to her named Malfoy apparently new the damned bartender.

"Its well," She corrected automatically.

"I know how to speak English!" Malfoy pronounced almost aggressively.

"Poor English," Hermione supplied taking a sip of her drink and looking into it as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. It was better than looking at him. Malfoy rolled his eyes before snapping at her.

"Its good English as long as I'm bloody understood! And I don't think I've seen you here before. Are you some bint someone picked off the streets?" Malfoy sneered as he glared at the slip of a girl before him. She was tiny and still possessed the same stubborn jaw and brown eyes. Her body had, however, filled out. Her hair was no longer mousy but possessed a flowing sheen, her freckles gone, and subtle curves outlined her petite body.

One thing hadn't changed though. A few minutes next to her and he was ready to spit nails.

At this Hermione's eyes widened a fraction before turning back to him, her expression one of pure indignation.

"_Bint_? You watch who you call a bint you bastard or-" Hermione shouted adamantly before breaking off, unable to allocate a worthy threat. She had never met anyone who made her angry as quickly as he did.

"Or you'll correct my English again? The horror," Malfoy threw back sardonically. Hermione had shifted quickly from a lethargic drunk stupor to the spitfire that now seemed on the verge of castrating him.

"You know I hate people like you! If people really knew you were just a pretentious brat they would refuse to worship the ground you walk on!" Hermione had gotten off her stool and was now glaring into the green depths of his eyes.

Hands fisted at her sides, she resisted the urge to clock him one right on the jaw or better…strangle the bastard. To bad the law worked against her…last she heard manslaughter was illegal. The smug glance exchanged by the man across from her and the bartender only fueled her frustration.

"It's not my fault I'm rich. And Its a lot better than being flat out broke dear." Malfoy smirked at her, no longer that angry but rather watching her with condescending amusement. He rested a strong chin on his hand, tilting his head to consider her.

Hermione gritted her teeth hard. For all she was concerned, dear was just a marginal step up from bint.

"If you're only rich why are you here?…Its not like you could do anything noteworthy enough to possibly become famous. Had some cheap slag of a girlfriend invite you?" Hermione spat.

She was set on one upping him. To her chagrin, he didn't even respond to her directly but chose to turn to the bartender with one eye brow raised on his tan, chiseled features. Even in the darkness you could tell he spent time in the sun.

"She does not know what I am Ewan. I think we have finally met that blindin' freak of nature that you were speaking of last week," Malfoy said slowly, deliberately. He looked at her like she was some type of cheap amusement

"Yeah man, I think you owe me a few hundred euros. Bloody hell, and I thought I was about to lose up till now. You really don't know who he is?" Now the sketchy bar tender was looking at her like she was some interesting once in a millennia phenomenon. Hermione hated it. Her plan to write him off as a tag along had just back fired, quite explosively, in her face.

Hermione had never regretted living her life like she was under a rock so badly until now, embarrassed at her own ignorance. Looking him up and down, she furrowed her brow. She couldn't even conjure the slightest intimation of where she might have seen him. The next best thing was to make educated guesses.

"A model? Actually I don't think you'd cut it as one…" She trailed off, raking her eyes over his form ostensibly before raising and eyebrow and looking away in an unmistakable sign of dismissal. To Hermione's frustration, he probably could.

Malfoy furrowed an eyebrow at the stubborn, rude, and somewhat obtuse female that stood there in front of him. Somehow, he had missed ever meeting anyone particularly like her before. How very lucky of him.

"Really?" He responded too politely, as if to humor her.

"If I wouldn't cut it what-" He waved his hands grasping for the right word, "physique would? Care to elaborate?" he took a sip of the JD that the bartender brought him before pressing the cool glass to chill his temple; she was about to give him a migraine.

"Someone not you…" She trailed off looking back at Malfoy's platinum blond hair and emerald green eyes.

"Dark black hair and blue eyes. His face would be symmetrical of course, with sharp angular features. He'd also be kind, polite, and chivalrous"

They both laughed. Malfoy had known the moment she had paused and subtly eyed him that she had deliberately changed her answer to someone not of his coloring.

Malfoy couldn't deal with this type of female without the help of alcohol; his brain was starting to feel like crushed stones: gravely, agitated, and difficult.

"Baby, you didn't need to change the coloring just for me…but I'm touched."

"I wasn't!" she scowled indignantly. Her delicately shaped eyebrows furrowed her bow shaped mouth pursed like she'd just tasted citrus.

"I believe in reality looking straight in the eye and denying it, you know who said that?"

"Don't quote Keillor at me!"

"Oh so she isn't illiterate?"

"What!? I'm not stupid! I was head girl!" Hermione was outraged. If anything he was illiterate.

"You know baby, this denial is getting serious. I think you need a shrink. And if you remember correctly…I was Head Boy" Malfoy smirked. Her cheeks were flushed, eyes blazing, and hands fisted. She seemed like a little ball of fire, more then ready to cook him alive.

"There's no need to hide you're psychotic tendencies…I know someone who specializes-" He trailed off as a willowy brunette sauntered up to him, placing a hand on his arm proprietarily. Her eyes were large, and caked with mascara and whatever rubbish woman put on their face.

"You owe me a dance and I want it now," The woman demanded, peering up at Malfoy from underneath her thick eyelashes.

Hermione narrowed her eyes at the newcomer. Woman like her ruined women's reputation, throwing themselves at men as desperately as a dog that goes door to door for scraps. Malfoy, it seemed, was the next door for this particular bitch.

"Well I guess I'll have to take my leave, till next time my lady…" Malfoy grabbed the brunette's hand, giving Hermione a condescending smirk before tugging the girl after him.

Hermione glared after the pair. Why that sodding little prat. Hermione shook her head. Just as well she figured she didn't ever want to see him again anyways. She hopped back onto her stool and steadied herself with one hand, the bench seemed to wobble before it settled. Hermione then leant over the blue black granite counter to address Ewan.

"I hate him." She announced quite adamantly, pinning Ewan with a stare.

"Who is he anyways? An actor?" Ewan's lips had curved into the beginnings of a smile, the tell tale signs of amusement colored his hazel eyes. He seemed to find anything and everything amusing. To Hermione's adding frustration he kept quiet.

"If you'd rather me drink this martini than for you to wear it, you'd better start talking." Hermione braced her arms on the counter and glared daggers at him hoping he'd relent to her obviously scary and imposing presence-read: desperate drunk.

"Well he's a player…" Ewan trailed off seemingly engrossed in cleaning the glass before him. His fingers never stopped fiddling. She swore he had some type of ADD.

"So he really isn't anyone important! He just hangs around…" Ewan shook his head and she trailed off in confusion.

"He's a Quidditch player." Hermione still looked on in confusion. Although Quidditch was practically a religion for some people she still didn't see the big deal. Furthermore, Ewan looked as if his succinct explanation was enough to enlighten her. Now realizing clearly that she was still in the dark Ewan sighed.

"I still don't get how you live in England and haven't even heard of him. Only a muggle would be so deaf blind and dumb," Ewan finished, receiving an exasperated and slightly offended look from Hermione.

"If you don't stop beating around the bush right now I'm going to give you a black eye. My right hook is rather impressive." Ewan held up his hands in defense before elaborating.

"Draco Malfoy is arguably one of the best seekers in England." Now Hermione was surprised. He couldn't have possibly gotten so famous without her realizing.

Ruffled, she took a sip before setting the cup down once more to look into it once more. She almost spit the entire thing out when all of a sudden a hard hand clapped her on the back.

"Hermione! Finally, I've been searching everywhere for you," Roxie announced dramatically, draping a loose arm around her. If you hadn't ditched me in the first place you wouldn't have had to search Hermione thought before turning away from her vodka to face her.

As her red hair framed an excited but frazzled face her smile was luminous. Except, as her friend of four years Hermione could detect a note of slyness that did not bode well for her.

"…What?" Hermione asked warily, apprehensive as to what Roxie was about to propose.

"Well…" Roxie tried to draw out the suspense but failed when Hermione simply filled in her implied words

"There's this guy."

"How'd you know?" Roxie asked cocking her head curiously, as if almost every conversation didn't start with this preamble. Hermione just continued.

"And he wants to take you home and do whatever you always do…and no I don't want details. I'm sure you're just playing wizards chess so don't ruin my fantasy." Hermione finished at Roxie's smirking face.

"Better and better, anyways you're a doll. I'll see you tomorrow then?" Hermione nodded before signaling Ewan to refill the cup. Looking pointedly at the Ewan she asserted quite matter a factly, "I hate this place, my head is about to roll off my shoulders and its going to take more than a couple sobering potions to put it back on."

Ewan looked at her blankly before shrugging and sauntering off.

She had met two pricks in one night. It must have been some sort of track record.

However, at least she had gotten something done. In less than an hour…she had proven the long standing legend that good men were either, taken, married or gay.

**Thanks for everyone that reviewed. I greatly appreciate it. This story may be updated a little faster than ABAC because I have a parallel story with the same story line. **

**I hope all of you enjoyed it. **

**I am open to suggestion, criticisms and what ever so if you have something to say feel free to. **

**And down**

**Down **

**Down**

**Is the magic button…winks….you know you want to )**

**Until next time **


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